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~ Tales of Romance ~
Whispered Promises
Chapter 11
"Mama!" Emily's excited voice rang like a joyous bell as she spotted her mother sitting in the stands watching her skate with Dani. Still holding tightly to her mentor's hand, the two skated to the exit off the ice, and Dani assisted Emily onto the rubber mat.
"You two looked wonderful out there," Mrs. DuBois stated with a smile, knelt to the floor and opened her arms to catch her daughter as she excitedly wobbled her way to her mother.
"Miss Dani is the best teacher in the world. She was teaching me how to do a mohawk!" Emily stated joyfully, wrapping her slim arms around her mother's neck and hugging her tightly.
Mrs. DuBois' eyes widened in surprise. "That sounds like a very difficult move to me," she stated, her gaze filled with questions.
Dani's head shook back and forth, and Emily answered for her. "Oh no, Mama, it's a very easy move. But you have to be very careful or else you will step on the back of your own blade and then you're stuck! I know; I got stuck a whole bunch of times. One time I almost fell!" Emily was practically vibrating with excitement. "And it's so much fun 'cause sometimes your heels click together and it feels funny!"
"She's almost learned the move. Next time I bet she'll be able to show you her perfect mohawk and how smoothly she can go from skating forward to backward," Dani offered with a smile, running one hand lovingly over Emily's pale curls.
"Well, I'm astonished," Emily's mother murmured, giving her daughter another hug and then rising to her feet. "It sounds like you had a wonderful lesson today." Her gaze turned to Dani, " Thank you. You don't know how much this means to Emily and to me," she stated warmly, clasping the younger woman's hand and squeezing it gently.
"I can assure you, it's my pleasure. I think I've learned just as much from Emily as Emily has learned from me," Dani countered, only to have her attention drawn back to the ice, and the hockey players, as voices suddenly lifted in anger and two of the players were separated.
Mrs. Dubois chewed the inside of her lip as she watched the men yell and make threatening gestures at each other, as their teammates kept them a safe distance away from each other, and tried to calm them down.
Her look of concern wasn't lost on Dani.
"Hockey slugs," Dani murmured, her tone filled with both humor and a bit of disgust, and looked down into Emily's sky blue eyes before returning her gaze to her mother. "Thank God Emily didn't decide she loved hockey, instead of figure skating, huh?" she teased.
"But you really like hockey slugs, don't you, Miss Dani? Especially that one you were skating with; the one making gooey eyes at you," Emily stated.
Dani tried to ignore the wave of heat that rushed over her cheeks at Emily's innocent words and flicked Emily's nose playfully. "Some hockey slugs are tolerable, and don't forget, you were skating with him first!"
"What?" Mrs. DuBois asked in surprise.
"I got to skate with a hockey slug while Miss Dani was putting on her skates," Emily answered matter-of-factly.
"You usually wait while Miss Dani puts her skates on," her mother stated.
"I know. But this time we had a time limit," Emily looked to Dani for confirmation, and at her nod of approval, continued. "And the hockey slug said he could skate, but he doesn't do it very well, 'cause when we were skating together, Miss Dani bumped into him and he almost fell down!" she gasped in excitement.
Mrs. DuBois' look of surprise was priceless. Casting a look at the group of hockey players, who all looked huge, and then back at Dani, she couldn't imagine how Dani had nearly downed one of them.
"I kind of surprised him, and it wasn't so much a bump as a hip-check that had him nearly falling. I can assure you, Emily, Mr. Tanner is a very capable skater. You just happened to catch him at a bad moment," Dani explained.
Emily's sidelong glance and nonchalant shrug clearly said she wasn't sure if she believed that statement or not. "Maybe. But still, he was making gooey eyes at you," Emily persisted.
"What's this about gooey eyes?" Matt suddenly asked, sliding to a hissing stop beside the wall and resting his forearms on it, as he looked at the three ladies.
"You were making them at Miss Dani, and I was just telling my mama about it," Emily piped up innocently.
"Emily!" Mrs. DuBois gasped in embarrassment, sending Dani a look of commiseration.
Matt's eyes sparkled mischievously, as he sent Dani a secretive look. "Gooey eyes, huh?"
"Yup! You look at her like you'd like to gobble her up!" Emily laughed, her eyes sparkling brightly.
Matt's gaze slowly traveled over Dani, from the tip of her head, to the bottom of her blades, and back up again, savoring every delicious nuance of her and smiling at her wickedly when his gaze finally caught hers. "You know, Princess, for a five year old, you're smarter than most of the guys on my hockey team. Maybe I ought to think about switching over to figure skating." He suggested with a slow smile.
A glow of excitement brightened Emily's face and she nodded her head up and down. "Oh yes, then Dani wouldn't be all alone out there on the ice. Sometimes she gets lonely out there all by herself. If you were with her, she wouldn't ever be lonely again," Emily explained, believing every word she said, innocence allowing her to see what was plainly before her without all the bother of rationalizing or reasoning.
"Emily," Dani murmured, lifted one finger to her lips and hoped Emily would understand the gesture and stop adding fuel to the fire.
It didn't.
"Is that right?" Matt asked calmly.
"Yes. Sometimes, when I get too tired, I just watch Miss Dani skate; she skates very prettily. But she also looks very sad," Emily explained.
"Emily, are you sure it isn't just the music that she's skating to? Sometimes classical music can sound sad," Mrs. DuBois offered, sending Dani an apologetic glance.
Emily's head shook back and forth, and her bright blonde curls bounced lightly. "No, Mama. I can feel how sad she is, except when she's skating with me, or Grandpa Aleksei, or Miss Jordan, or Sergei and Miss Chloe; then she's happy. But most of the time, when she's all alone on the ice, she's very sad."
A small frown creased Dani's brow. "Emily, I love skating. I especially love skating with you!" she stated with soft determination. "I'm really not sad on the ice. Well, maybe a little, but more just very tired than sad," Dani tried to explain, and at the same time convince herself of her own words.
"Did you like skating with the hockey slug?" Emily asked bluntly.
All three adults blinked in surprise at her question.
Dani cast Matt a sidelong glance. "I didn't get much of a chance to really skate with Matt before he had to return to his own practice with his hockey team," she answered slowly, cautiously.
Emily's blue gaze shifted to Matt. "Do you need to practice again right now?"
"No, we're taking a short break to give the guys a chance to calm down and get something to drink," Matt answered.
"Then why don't you two go skate together again? Maybe this time Miss Dani won't be so sad when I go home," Emily suggested, looking from Matt's face to Dani's and back again.
"Emily, both of them are very busy. Perhaps now isn't the best time for them to be skating just for fun," Mrs. DuBois suggested, thoroughly embarrassed by her daughter's outrageous suggestion.
"Emily, Mr. Tanner is very busy training. He's going to the Olympics also, as part of the hockey team. There are only a few short weeks until he has to leave. I really don't think he has time to be skating with me right now," Dani offered, sending Matt a 'please go along with me' look.
"Miss Dani's going to the Olympics too, but she still finds time to skate with me! I'll give up my time to skate with Miss Dani and let him take it if it means Miss Dani won't be sad. Besides, that way Miss Dani will have someone to skate with after I can't skate with her anymore." Emily stated honestly.
All three adults knew she meant after she died.
"Emily&ldots;" Dani whispered her name, while Mrs. DuBois struggled to control her emotions.
"I'd love to skate with Miss Dani, Princess. And I'm honored that you would share your time with her with me," Matt intoned graciously, his voice deep with emotion, a sheen of moisture glazing his gray eyes. Switching his gaze to Dani, who stood frozen in place, he held out his hand to her. "Miss Dani?"
She looked at his hand, steady and reaching for her, and turned to look at Emily, who smiled beatifically at her and nodded her encouragement. With a shaky sigh, she stepped forward to slip her hand into his, and allowed him to hold her hand while she walked to the ice, the short wall separating them until they reached the doorway.
An encouraging tug had her stepping onto the ice and skating with Matt, as Emily looked on approvingly.
For several minutes, Emily and her mother watched as Dani and Matt circled the now-silent ice, their hands locked together, their legs stroking in unison, their body lines complimentary as Matt tucked Dani closer against his side.
"Mama?" Emily's voice was a reverent whisper.
"Yes, baby?" Mrs. DuBois looked down at her daughter with a tenderness that could be felt.
"Miss Dani and the hockey slug are going to skate just like Sergei and Miss Chloe, and I bet they will win another gold medal for me!" Emily sighed tiredly.
"Miss Dani skates all by herself; you know that."
Emily shook her head back and forth, her motion barely perceptible, her entire being tired. "Only for a little longer, then she's going to skate with the hockey slug. Only he won't be a hockey slug anymore, he'll be her prince. I hope I will be able to see them skate together when I'm an angel up in heaven," she whispered and let her eyes drift shut, wrapped warmly and safely in her mother's arms.
Mrs. DuBois closed her own eyes and rested her head against her daughter's. Breathing deeply, she hoped she would always be able to remember this moment and her mind cataloged each sensation: the sweet scent of her baby and how wonderful it felt to have her in her arms, the chill of the air from the ice that Emily loved so much, and the gentle whispers of blades on the ice as Dani slowly skated with her soon-to-be-prince (at least according to Emily) around the ice.
For the first time, in a very long time, a feeling of rightness surrounded Mrs. DuBois, and a lightness entered her soul and made her feel that destiny was moving forward, as it should. That the future wasn't something to fear, but something to look forward to, and as she had always believed, when one door closed, another one opened.
Picking up Emily's skating bag, she slipped the straps over her arm, and without disturbing her dozing daughter, picked her up. Kissing her pale cheek softly, she cast a final glance at the pair, still on the ice, and wondered if Emily's prediction would come true. It was hard to believe that Dani could become a pair, considering how verbal she had been about such a possibility. But, so much of Emily's life had been unbelievable; a bit magical, and perhaps she saw more than most.
Slowly she walked forward, gazing down into her sleeping daughter's face, memorizing every pale freckle that scattered across her pert nose, her rosebud mouth, now settled in an angelically secretive smile, the pale blonde curls that covered her small head. All things she knew she would never forget for as long as she lived.
Dani came to a sliding stop, at the entrance door to the ice, and waited as Mrs. DuBois walked the few remaining steps to meet her. Looking down into Emily's sleeping face, she leaned forward, kissed her gently on her forehead, and whispered, "Sleep well, Princess. I'll see you soon." Returning her gaze to Mrs. DuBois, she offered, "If you need anything, anything at all, call me."
Mrs. DuBois nodded. "We're going home to take a nap. I'll be sure to call you if we need anything, but at this moment, things seem to be as they're meant to be."
A confusing frown creased Dani's brow as she watched Mrs. DuBois carry her child away. There seemed to be a different air about her, a confidence and calmness that hadn't been there, even this morning, and it left Dani completely confused, and more than a little scared. And nothing else in the world frightened Dani more than feeling scared. The fact she was unable to control everything around her made her feel ready to explode, and she knew the only way to rid herself of that feeling, was to skate until she was completely exhausted; both physically and mentally.
"Skate with me, Matt," she demanded, pushing off and immediately picking up speed, soundlessly flying across the ice.
Matt was amazed at her immediate burst of speed, silently complimented her on her take off, and chased after her, catching her almost immediately with his long, powerful strides and deep strokes into the ice. Catching hold of her left hand, he slid into place beside her, his right arm crossing her back to rest lightly on her right hip, his strides shortening to match her own.
"What are you doing?" Dani growled, surprised to find herself in his grasp, but more amazed that they were in a pairs position and seemed to fit together so perfectly.
"Skating with you," he answered calmly, easily stepping into crossovers as they came to the end of the rink and made their turn.
"I didn't say I wanted to hold your hand while we did it!" she complained, pushing her blades deeper into the ice to get more speed, and cutting diagonally across the ice.
Matt mimicked her movement effortlessly.
"No you didn't, but it's not all about what you want. I've got a say in this partnership," he argued, circling the other end of the ice with her, keep up stride for stride, while secretly digging in his heels into the ice a little and making her work harder to keep up their speed.
"We have no partnership. I'm a single, remember? And you're a hockey slug!"
"Looks like you're a pair at the moment. Besides, according to a recent newspaper article, we're lovers. Remember?" he countered with a low, wicked laugh.
"Don't remind me. Besides, what makes you think you have any idea at all what a pair looks like. And quit dragging your heels! If you can't keep up with me, get the hell off the ice!" she stormed, pulling out of his grasp and speeding away.
Matt watched her execute a perfect double axel jump, and was amazed at how fast and effortless she made it look. He also knew the axel was the most difficult jump of all for figure skaters and gave her extra credit for the clean landing. She held her exit glide out of her jump for several seconds before she began her back crossovers and he was even more astonished at the speed she picked up as her legs pushed powerfully against the ice, and she soundlessly flew around the rink. Thinking about it, she was the only American skater that came to mind who skated so quietly. The Russian's were known for their silence on the ice, and the American's didn't seem to be overly concerned about making a little noise when they skated. But Dani, like the rest of the Rocmanovs, skated nearly soundlessly - and if this was any indication, damn near at the speed of light.
With a small shake of his head, and a quick prayer for survival, he cut across the ice, did a quick three-turn and joined her at the far end of the rink, sliding back into place beside her.
"I thought I'd lost you," Dani said, stroking around the corner, keeping an eye over her shoulder as she cut another diagonal line across the ice.
"My jumps aren't what they used to be," Matt teased her, his smile widening at her look of surprise.
"Don't tell me you used to figure skate?"
"Too many years ago to count!"
"You never mentioned you were a figure skater before."
"You never asked."
"Don't be a smartass!" Dani growled.
"You didn't tell me you played hockey either, but you don't see me calling you names!" Matt fired back.
"One thing has nothing to do with the other." Dani countered.
"How do you figure? Your little omissions are okay and mine aren't?" Matt argued.
"What 'little omissions' are you blathering about?" Dani yelled in frustration, pushing her body harder, ignoring the burning in her leg muscles, reaching for the endorphins that would make everything disappear, if only for a little while.
Matt refused to let her get away. He sensed she was running from more demons than she could face alone, and he was more than willing to help her face them, if she let him close enough to do it. "You're weeks away from the Olympics, taking physical risks by first, playing hockey, and second, hockey without protective gear. You're not training. You're not sleeping. You're not eating. What the hell is going on!"
"Nothing!"
"Bullshit!"
"You're out of line here, Tanner. I'm not your concern."
"You're wrong. You're of great concern to me."
"Then you're an idiot."
"Darlin', that's not the first time I've been called one."
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"
"Not necessarily. It's supposed to make you realize I'm persistent, trustworthy and here if you need me."
"I don't need you. I don't need anyone!" she growled dangerously.
"That's not how I see it. Everyone needs someone to lean on sometime or another," Matt countered in frustration, an exasperated, pained sigh hissing through his teeth as he tried to keep up with her, his thigh muscles screaming in protest at her relentless pace as he tried to make her see reason. He wondered if this is how it would feel trying to catch a Tasmanian Devil.
"Not me! I don't need anyone. I don't want to need anyone. That way I don't have to worry about being disappointed, or disappointing someone else, every time I turn around. I don't have to worry about being what everyone else believes I should be, and failing on every level, never mind losing myself in the process." Dani yelled, her voice breaking with a sob.
Suddenly, her energy just vanished, as if it had been rapidly sucked out of her, and she found herself coasting, Matt beside her, his hands reaching out to steady her when she stumbled and nearly fell.
"Dani?" Matt asked softly, concern deepening his voice.
"Matt, I'm so tired of trying to please everyone. I just don't think I can do it anymore," she answered weakly, tears filling her deep green eyes and spilling onto her suddenly pale cheeks.
"I've got you, Darlin'. You're okay," he whispered into her ear, when she tripped a second time, and her body folded in on itself. Lifting her into his arms, as if she weighed no more than a feather, he carefully carried her across the ice to the exit door and stepped off the ice onto the rubber-covered floor.
The doors leading to the lobby opened, and his teammates began to stream back toward the ice, tempers restored, ready to resume their practice. When they spotted Matt, carrying a tearful Dani, they stopped as a group, concerned, but helpless expressions on their faces.
"Is she okay? Should we call 9-1-1?" Ron asked, stepping forward, his eyes full of worry.
Matt was momentarily stunned by Ron's concern. Of all his teammates, he would never have expected Ron to take the initiative and offer assistance. Especially after the way Dani had trounced him on the ice the day before.
"No, she doesn't need 9-1-1. Dani just needs a few minutes alone to step back, take a breath, and get everything into perspective. Why don't you guys take an early lunch break? We'll hit the ice again in an hour." Matt's statement wasn't a suggestion, but a demand.
Noises of agreement were made and the hockey players exited out the doors they had only just come through, casting concerned looks back at Matt, who still held Dani in his arms; her face buried against his chest.
"Ron&ldots;" Matt called out, just before he walked through the door, the last in the line of players heading for lunch. "Do me a favor, please. Let Cynthia know I'm using Conference Room Three, that Dani's with me and we don't want to be disturbed for a while."
Ron's eyebrows lifted slightly, but he didn't say anything, simply nodded in understanding and headed off to do as he had been asked. He was simply glad he wasn't the one having to deal with a tearful female. He could handle just about anything, except a girl in tears.
* * * * *
Matt nudged the door to Conference Room Three open with his shoulder, flipped on the light switch, and pushed the door closed with his bottom, Dani still in his arms. An elbow pressed against the handle had the door lock clicking into place. After a quick look at the uncomfortable chairs that surrounded the table in the center of the room, he gently placed Dani onto one of the padded benches that rested against the walls.
Matt looked down into Dani's tear-stained, pale face, and frowned. "You're not planning on fainting or puking on me are you?" He asked, half-seriously.
Dani cast him a sidelong glance, brushed the wayward strands that had escaped her ponytail off her face and sighed shakily. "At the risk of spoiling your morning, I have no plans to do either."
A quick twist of his wrist had the blinds blocking the outside world from peeking in, enclosing them in a silent cocoon. "Darlin', never in a million years would I want you do either. You're barely hanging on by your lovely fingernails, as it is. I simply wanted to know if I was going to be scooping you into my arms, to keep you from banging your head on yet another floor, or holding a bucket for you to barf in. That's all." He stated softly.
Dani's gaze lifted to meet Matt's and her brows furrowed in disbelief as she saw the compassion that filled his gray eyes. "You would hold a bucket for me while I barfed?" she asked tearfully.
Matt's broad shoulders lifted in a small shrug. "I'd prefer to hold you in my arms, but if you needed a bucket, I'd gladly hold one for you," he offered quietly, sincerely.
Tears flooded Dani's green eyes and turned them into shimmering ponds the color of a dark forest. "Why?"
Matt crossed the small distance between them and squatted down before her, his spread knees trapping her skate-encased feet between his legs and the bench. His left hand rested calmly on the bench seat beside her right hip, while his other hand brushed tears gently from her cheeks and tucked a damp, curling tendril of auburn hair behind her ear, before picking up her hand and kissing her palm. "Because for some reason, that I still haven't completely figured out yet, I can't stop thinking about you, and scariest of all, I don't want to. You make me crazy with your constant displays of independence. I grew up in the South, and was taught you protect your women, and yet you fight me every step of the way when I try to do just that. I watch you with Emily and I can see how much your heart is breaking, how much it's tearing you apart to simply be with her. Yet, you do it, without regard for your own sanity and keep coming back and giving more of yourself."
"I have to," Dani murmured breathlessly.
"No, you choose to. There's a difference."
Dani simply shrugged.
"You're willing to give up your dream to give a little girl the chance to see her own dream come true. Very few people I know would be willing to make such a sacrifice. I don't know that I could make such a sacrifice myself."
"You'd be amazed at what you find yourself doing. If someone had told me a year ago I would be willing to give up my chance to win an Olympic Gold Medal I would have told them they were out of their mind. Now," Dani's shoulder's lifted in a negligent shrug, "it just isn't as important as it once was." Her tearful green gaze captured his calm gray eyes. "I wonder if skating was ever really as important to me as I had believed."
Matt's hands lifted to cup Dani's face between his wide palms; his hands warmed her chilled cheeks. "Dani, I've watched you skate. I've seen the magic you create when you're on the ice, whether it's at practice, in a show or at a competition. You're not just technically perfect; you skate with a passion and emotion that few skaters display. You leave people in awe and wonder. Do you have any idea how many young girls have taken up the sport because they want to be like you? You're an inspiration to a lot of people, me included."
"You?" Dani's voice was filled with bewilderment. "What on earth could I possibly do to inspire you?"
"You've shown me what tenacity, compassion, understanding and sacrifice are really about. You've shown me a side of courage I've never seen before. You've shown me that it takes more strength to show your emotions than it does to hide them within yourself, and that an open, free-giving heart is a wondrous thing capable of creating magic; capable of seducing others to do the same."
Dani's self-deprecating, watery laugh said she believed otherwise. "Oh yeah, I'm a real seductress. My runny nose, blood-shot eyes and tear stained face will have men standing in line just to get a glimpse of me."
"Danielle Rocmanov, right this moment, you're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life; runny nose, blood-shot eyes, tears and all! The fact they're for someone else makes you that much more beautiful." Matt stated firmly, his voice a deep rumble.
"You're out of your mind," Dani countered breathlessly, her gaze captured by his.
"Probably. But it's your fault. I haven't been able to get you out of my mind since I met you."
"You don't know what you're saying," Dani whispered breathlessly, her heart thundering in her chest.
"Perhaps I'm just saying it badly. But I do know what I'm feeling and it's not something that's going to disappear overnight."
"Matt, please&ldots;"
"Dani, the last thing I want to do is to add more to your already filled plate. But know this, I'm here for you, anytime, in any capacity. If that means you need a target to fire hockey pucks at, go for it. If you want someone to race around the ice with you, let me know. If you're wanting a lesson in how to drive a manual transmission, Lila's just waiting for you. If you're looking to make those rumors in the newspapers a reality, I'm willing and able, and more than happy, to do that for you too!"
"Matt, we're not lovers," Dani murmured softly.
"Not yet," he countered seductively.
Dani's gaze traveled over Matt's face, memorizing every feature, every little scar, the few faint freckles that scattered across his cheeks. One hand lifted and her fingertips whispered a caress across his beard-roughened cheeks, across his full lips, tingling when his quick kiss caught her fingers. "Mama says 'a face without freckles is like a night without stars'."
Matt's gentle smile told her he agreed with her mother's saying.
"Do something for me?" Dani asked softly.
"Name it."
"Hold me."
"Forever," Matt whispered, and leaned forward to brush a gentle kiss across her lips. Scooping her into his arms, he lifted her and then settled them both back down on the padded bench seat, her bottom pressed enticingly against his lap as he gathered her tightly against his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around her, Dani's head snuggled under his chin.
In the silence of the room, they heard only each other's breathing. Dani felt Matt's gentle kiss on the top of her head and smiled, a deep sigh escaped as she relaxed within the safety of his arms. She found herself drifting on a warm cloud and just before exhaustion overcame her, she could swear she felt their hearts beat as one from where her palm rested against his chest.
Matt felt her go limp in his arms, and hoped that she drifted safely within sleeps comforting arms. If the peaceful expression on her face was any indication, his hopeful wish had been heard, and granted. Brushing his cheek against the silken strands of her hair, he allowed his heart free reign and his breath whispered into the silent room. "Dani, I love you." *
Copyright © 2001-2002 C.E. Moynihan
*All Rights Reserved